She Think She's All That Syndrome

I recently had a conversation with a friend girl about how she views

my interactions with different women that come in and out of my life.

She mentioned that she cannot comprehend fully how I do it; how do I

deal with so many diverse types of women, and how do I deal with the

types who are obviously coming around with a competitive attitude?

Like I shared with my friend girl, my way is unique, yet not

unattainable!

I simply accept how people are when they arrive at my front door. I

do not ever get on a mission to change them. I will often encourage

them towards paths that may show them life in a different light, yet

you will never hear me telling any of my friends that they should do it

this way or that way!

And I simply do not feed into the negativity that comes with

comparisons or competitive personality types!

Ladies, when you walk into another woman's life, befriend her

sincerely and you may actually clearly see the reason God allowed you

both to cross paths. When I become a friend, I am just that. No hidden

agendas; I am here and aware that God allowed you in for a reason.

My advice to you all who are struggling with it is this: Pray about it.

Ask God to help you not to act like that; ask God to help you not to be

so judgemental and bossy; stop telling women how to be in order to

fit your lifestyle and just allow them to grow into who they are to

become!

And of most importantly, do away with your competive ways of past

female friendships and just fully embrace the women you meet on this

journey we call life.

The only female, a woman should compare herself to is her own self!

Compare yourself to the little naive girl that you were years ago, to the

woman that you have become today!

Who cares if your friend girl has a seemingly better house, car or relationship? Who

cares if her body is more fit or if the strands of her hair are a little

longer?

Stop the competitions and Do you!

And allow God to show you the person you have been competing

with..
Ask Him to share with you why he allowed the both of you to cross

each other's paths. Look for the positives and stop creating the

negatives.

Again my personality and ability to embrace all types of women is

not something that is impossible to emulate...take down your

competitive guards and just give it a try and watch how you begin to

relax in the peace of mind this way of living brings about!

~Mz DeeVa~

P.S. Never Judge a Book By Its Cover ;-) Hope to meet you soon!!

Celibate Season: Every Single Woman Engaging in Sex Should Take a Break from Meaningless SEX!

On subject of celibacy (Battle of the Sexes, iLast Radio, 7/17): "Every (single) woman should have a season for 'taking time off from sex' (celibate season)....if you are DOING IT all YEAR and you don't even have a damn ring (wedding/engagement)...YOU'RE CRAZEE!!" ~Mz DeeVa~ :-) DeeVaIzm Quote of the weekend!!

Isn't that just the TRUTH??

A single woman engaging in sex without commitment, all year round, with the same partner or lord knows with multiple partners, should take a breather from sex at some point in time!

I like to call it the

"Season of Celibacy".

Taking time to reflect on why you and this other person are having sex on a long term basis, yet have not decided to take it to another level...a step towards a real commitment.

As much as some men...and some women... will argue me down that sex year in and year out without a commitment is NOT meaningless, truth be told ladies and gents, it is just that:

MEANINGLESS SEX

. GREAT for while it lasts, yet in the end, he chooses someone else or you choose someone else and now you have both ABUSED a part of

GOD's GREATEST GIFT to mankind: SEX!

"Meaningless sex, which is ALSO Great SEX at the same time but turns around into a full circle and bringing you back to the moment when you didn't know him...has NO PURPOSE!" (Mz DeeVa on iLast Radio Battle of the Sexes 7/17)

Intimacy is NOT a recreational sport and society needs to STOP treating it like it is! Intimacy = IN TO ME YOU SEE! Intimacy says, 'here in this world of caressing, kissing and loving, I am opening up a door that goes deep and near to my soul'...how can you KEEP giving that 'special' someone a GIFT as expensive as that sounds without setting some standards towards your own self worth.

AND...guess what, if you decide to have a

Season of Celibacy

, you do not have to BREAK up if you are in a great relationship that is simply facing 'fear to commit' from one of you...keep seeing the person, you will just have to get CREATIVE if you have been engaging in SEX already, and prepare for the struggle to do WITHOUT as he/she respects your decision to hold off.

I say you do not have to break up to take a

Season of Celibacy

, because it is not a mandatory action in order to get your OWN mind clear as to why you are engaging in a act reserved for TRUE LOVE and ROMANCE. The only reason a break up may come is if the other person has a SERIOUS problem with the fact that you want to hold off from having sex for a while...if he/she loves you, he will NOT single ladies, she will NOT single men, have a problem with respecting your decison!

Start with doing the research on the word Celibacy alone, and then, activate your own inner common sense...decide if taking a break from

MEANINGLESS sex

is for you...do not forget to TELL your partner if you make this decision while in a relationship!

COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE...

And then just do it!!

Take a season to take a look deep inside of you and when and if you return back to having sex, be sure you now KNOW what is FOR YOU!!

~Mz DeeVa~

Author of newly released memoir 'Great Sex Is Not Love and Never Will Be' now available on Amazon.com for Kindle and also on Paperback...also available on Nook (www.barnesandnobles.com)
Visit the Facebook fan page for weekly discounts on autographed pre-purchase copies http://www.facebook.com/mzdeeva4you
And do not MISS the tour 'Never Judge a Book By Its Cover' which features Mz DeeVa's

'Sex is Not Love'

(Dallas, Tx 8/19...Richmond, Va 8/20...Manhattan, NY 10/15...Atlanta, Ga and London, England TBA.
BOOKING has OPEN dates, email: mividadnow@gmail.com

Virtual Dating

Virtual Dating tips from Mz Deeva

-1st Have several, several intense conversations via Email or IM before sharing your number.
Ask detailed questions and leave room in your heart before you fall for him/her to discover the truth when/if you actually meet and spend weeks REALLY getting to know him/her.

-Exchange numbers once you are clear that they meet your initial 'narrow your choices down' standards
 
If local
choose a coffee shop for first meeting.  Do not use each other's apartments or houses to meet up. Too soon for that!

If out of state
*Dont date out of reasonable travel zones unless you discovered by intense conversation and date 1 and 2 you can both afford to do so!
Date 1: He comes to your state, gets a hotel n rents a car
Date 2: You go to his state, get a hotel room, n rent a car 
Oh, and plz do not stay over at the hotel or his/her place on Date 1 and 2! ;-)

On safety: 
Always let your close friend or family member know of any plans to meet your new virtual friend alone. I have a friend girl I can text when I go on dates even if we haven't talked in months! 
Be accounted for when meeting a guy/girl online...not all folks are in their right mind!

On the subject of sex:
-If you met him/her online, spend at least 6 months before allowing any making out. Weak people will tell you it's impossible. Please hear this strong woman when I say, keep the dates creative and full of adventure and this time will pass by before you know it!

Moving in with him/her:
-Let me talk straight to my independent yet lonely ladies on this one, ok? Men take notes  and apply accordingly.
Ladies, please do not allow some guy from out of state or even locally to get in your head about coming to spend a week, month or two with you in order to get to know you better! 
That is the most popular line 'virtual liars' use!
A real man will have his living situation in order and can date you from afar.
 
You get me on that?
 
He has no reason at all to move in YOUR place or even move you in HIS place, just to get to know you better! 
The game is played so they can either, leave the woman they met a couple months back online, who is about to boot them out because they found out his game...or....he just split with his ex and is trying to move you in to help with that now one sided financial burden.

More is in my book coming this summer  I had to share since it is hot topic this evening!
Ladies and Gents, OnLine date wisely! And know a 'Virtual Liar' when you see him 'Typing' up!!!

~Mz DeeVa~
Web Talk Radio Hostess of iLast Radio segments like 'Relationship Talk', 'Let's Talk', and 'Battle of the Sexes', and new Authoress of memoir 'Great Sex Is Not Love and Never Will Be!' and upcoming Relationship Book: 'So Your Heart's Been Broken? Please Get Back Out There!'
Follow Mz DeeVa on Twitter: @MzDeeva4you for more or like her fan page 'Mz DeeVa' on www.facebook.com/mzdeeva4you as well as join her book club on Facebook 'Great Sex Is Not Love Book Club'