Mz DeeVa:
"...my friend's husband wont leave me alone, He keeps sending me messages. He has been trying to get with me for years I managed to keep him off but recently he got a hold of my number and he wont let off with the messages...."
Dear Frustrated in Europe:
Hey lady! That is going on like crazy here in Central Texas also!
Men like that have to be ignored at all levels! Dont even tell them to stop texting because their shallow minds hear 'she wants me bad!'
....most important; tell the friend!...
I sat on a 3 way call, where my friend told our other girlfriend of what her husband was doing a year ago; and she checked him...of course, some dogs keep it in him, so he is now back hitting same female up by email, along with some other friend girls he found on her Facebook friend's list!
Ignore men like that on all levels, it is truly the only thing that MAY work!
Mz DeeVa:
"if I tell her she will think its me leading him on. I am so fed up with this nonsense. I have married idiots at work chasing me, 3 of them, no matter how much I tell them to lay off, they wont."
Dear Frustrated in Europe:
I know your frustration and believe me, it is not you, those men have greediness issues, cannot just be happy with who God gave them; so they want to come have some 'jump off' fun for a few months and Sundays until their guilt sets in with the first lady victim who will fall for their crap!
Right thing to do: Tell the wife, she will be angry now, but I promise you, I have had thank you calls years later, from 2 exact same situations! Wives will call and say 'thank you' when they finally grow tired of the games. In your current situation, your friend, the wife, already knows or suspects that he is up to something, that is the way of woman!!
So tell her; and show her email and text proof if she asks for it....and then walk in to 2011 with that being THEIR mess and not yours ma.
Hoping this post helps many women in the same predicament. Feel free always to email your questions to me direct at: mividanow@gmail.com or DM to me on Twitter, as well as Facebook or Myspace them!
~Mz DeeVa~
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mzdeeva4you
http://deevaizms.blogspot.com
http://www.twitter.com/MzDeeVa4you
http://www.myspace.com/brownsugah09
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The Right Brain vs the Left Brain in Relationships according to Mz DeeVa
Often times we enter into relationships and we fail to take enough time to get to know who we are, let alone figure out who the other person we are getting to know is!
My theory is that knowing whether or not you are Right Brain, Left Brain or
some combination of both is a critical link to minimizing the CONFUSION that
tends to go on in the COMMUNICATION process of dating and relationships
with others!
Now know this, it is not too late to test my theory if you are already years into
the relationship or even married. The discovery point of learning that how you
think and how your mate thinks is a great one!! It really makes a HUGE difference in the success or lack of success of your relationship AND could put an end to never ending arguments and bring the romance back that has long since faded away!!
So here we go...
First, here are the characteristics of the Left Brainers and the Right Brainers.
Left brain tend to be more logical, carrying these traits:
-Logical
-Sequential
-Rational
-Analytical
-Objective
-Looks at parts
Right Brain tend to be more Intuitive, carrying these traits:
-Random
-Intuitive
-Holistic
Synthesizing
-Subjective
-Looks at wholes
Now, discover if you are more of a Right Brain or a Left Brain person by going
online and taking this quick and HARMLESS quiz:
http://www.intelliscript.net/test_area/questionnaire/questionnaire.cgi
and then return back to me for my theory....
At the end of the quiz, you were given a scale that showed you whether or not
you were a Left Brainer, Right Brainer or both.
Now....here is the solution beginning to unfold...Have your partner take the
same test. AND....if he/she refuses to, and you have known them long enough,
and know quite a bit about their personality and ways, try taking the test as if
you are them (less likely to be successful in solving your issues if you cannot get
them to take the test, yet, it will help you understand them more, which is your
goal in the first place! -_-
One tip I will share about the Left Brainer. As you see psychologists have
discovered, Left Brainers think in parts....YET, they are so logical and so very
analytical and objective, they will argue me down on this point to a T...The fact
that Left Brainers think in parts, they tend not to see the WHOLE picture of
what is actually going on!! They will make a conclusion on the situation based
on the very few parts they see of it, and will not fairly GRASP the whole
situation!!
Wondering how that has any impact on your relationship?
Because the Left Brainer lacks a lot of emotion and tends to choose the rational
way of thinking in most arguments or disagreements, they are not going to
FEEL as much as the Right Brainer will, nor will they see the WHOLE situation
right up front. It is not to say that you will not get your point across, because if
you can TRULY understand this about the Left Brainer you will learn how to do
so; it is just simply saying as the initial disagreement takes place, the Left
Brainer is going to stand his/her ground because deep down inside, they
honestly feel they are right! It will take the Right Brainer's patience and
willingness to love them enough or care enough to see the Left Brainer through
ALL parts of the discussion in order to get their point across!
Now, I am still currently studying for my Bachelor's in Guidance Counseling, but
that is the information I have studied throughout my Associates in Social Work
Specialization studies and I find it to be ironic that the study of Left Brainers
vs Right Brainers has a SERIOUS impact on how 2 people can successfully
understand each other more in the dating and marriage process, yet I stand
strong on my conclusion that it will make a HUGE difference on the
COMMUNICATION side of things knowing which side of the brain dominates, for you and your partner!
~Mz DeeVa, Blog Talk Radio Host~
My theory is that knowing whether or not you are Right Brain, Left Brain or
some combination of both is a critical link to minimizing the CONFUSION that
tends to go on in the COMMUNICATION process of dating and relationships
with others!
Now know this, it is not too late to test my theory if you are already years into
the relationship or even married. The discovery point of learning that how you
think and how your mate thinks is a great one!! It really makes a HUGE difference in the success or lack of success of your relationship AND could put an end to never ending arguments and bring the romance back that has long since faded away!!
So here we go...
First, here are the characteristics of the Left Brainers and the Right Brainers.
Left brain tend to be more logical, carrying these traits:
-Logical
-Sequential
-Rational
-Analytical
-Objective
-Looks at parts
Right Brain tend to be more Intuitive, carrying these traits:
-Random
-Intuitive
-Holistic
Synthesizing
-Subjective
-Looks at wholes
Now, discover if you are more of a Right Brain or a Left Brain person by going
online and taking this quick and HARMLESS quiz:
http://www.intelliscript.net/test_area/questionnaire/questionnaire.cgi
and then return back to me for my theory....
At the end of the quiz, you were given a scale that showed you whether or not
you were a Left Brainer, Right Brainer or both.
Now....here is the solution beginning to unfold...Have your partner take the
same test. AND....if he/she refuses to, and you have known them long enough,
and know quite a bit about their personality and ways, try taking the test as if
you are them (less likely to be successful in solving your issues if you cannot get
them to take the test, yet, it will help you understand them more, which is your
goal in the first place! -_-
One tip I will share about the Left Brainer. As you see psychologists have
discovered, Left Brainers think in parts....YET, they are so logical and so very
analytical and objective, they will argue me down on this point to a T...The fact
that Left Brainers think in parts, they tend not to see the WHOLE picture of
what is actually going on!! They will make a conclusion on the situation based
on the very few parts they see of it, and will not fairly GRASP the whole
situation!!
Wondering how that has any impact on your relationship?
Because the Left Brainer lacks a lot of emotion and tends to choose the rational
way of thinking in most arguments or disagreements, they are not going to
FEEL as much as the Right Brainer will, nor will they see the WHOLE situation
right up front. It is not to say that you will not get your point across, because if
you can TRULY understand this about the Left Brainer you will learn how to do
so; it is just simply saying as the initial disagreement takes place, the Left
Brainer is going to stand his/her ground because deep down inside, they
honestly feel they are right! It will take the Right Brainer's patience and
willingness to love them enough or care enough to see the Left Brainer through
ALL parts of the discussion in order to get their point across!
Now, I am still currently studying for my Bachelor's in Guidance Counseling, but
that is the information I have studied throughout my Associates in Social Work
Specialization studies and I find it to be ironic that the study of Left Brainers
vs Right Brainers has a SERIOUS impact on how 2 people can successfully
understand each other more in the dating and marriage process, yet I stand
strong on my conclusion that it will make a HUGE difference on the
COMMUNICATION side of things knowing which side of the brain dominates, for you and your partner!
~Mz DeeVa, Blog Talk Radio Host~
Monday, December 20, 2010
'Tis the Season To Do Away With Unnecessary Competitions!
I find this season bringing me extreme peace and self satisfaction! Yet, I look around me and soon learn that those swimming with me in this sea of happiness are few and far between!
See, I am a web Talk Radio Host (www.blogtalkradio.com/mzdeeva4you) and my main subject on near all of my segments is the word many fear to talk about in excess: Relationships!
So as I stream my podcast live each week, I get quite a few callers who will call in and share their thoughts and opinions on the current Relationship topics presented. What seems to happen often, with the men and the women, is an air of competition!!! Mz Deeva may be bringing the topic but I am going to call into her show to show her fans how wrong she is on her outlook on these issues
The ones who tend to go against me the most, are the ones I expose often. The 'Relationship Game Players', the 'Satisfied Female Jump Offs', the ones who are indeed guilty of the topic I am sharing and so they fear that truth being exposed, thus following, the competition Live on air!!!
Can we not just all get along in the world of talk radio?!
Though mine is called the Battle of the Sexes, I have shared with you often, we consider it simply 'a friendly engagement between the sexes' Need I change the name in order to bring about a geniune respect for the host on the panel?! Hmmm...
One thing I am well known and respected for on and off BlogTalkRadio.com is that when I am a guest on someone else's show or stage, I never try to downplay or outshine the host. I stand strong in my own opinion I am sharing without ever once having to ridicule or put down the host who invited me to share in discussing their hot topic!
Know when to compete, and first and foremost gain the knowledge of how to RESPECT other's platforms and you will indeed go a very long way in the circle of life!!!
Mz DeeVa, Blog Talk Radio Host and Co-Host of 'Late Night Blog Talking' at Obok in Killeen/FtHood, TX
See, I am a web Talk Radio Host (www.blogtalkradio.com/mzdeeva4you) and my main subject on near all of my segments is the word many fear to talk about in excess: Relationships!
So as I stream my podcast live each week, I get quite a few callers who will call in and share their thoughts and opinions on the current Relationship topics presented. What seems to happen often, with the men and the women, is an air of competition!!! Mz Deeva may be bringing the topic but I am going to call into her show to show her fans how wrong she is on her outlook on these issues
The ones who tend to go against me the most, are the ones I expose often. The 'Relationship Game Players', the 'Satisfied Female Jump Offs', the ones who are indeed guilty of the topic I am sharing and so they fear that truth being exposed, thus following, the competition Live on air!!!
Can we not just all get along in the world of talk radio?!
Though mine is called the Battle of the Sexes, I have shared with you often, we consider it simply 'a friendly engagement between the sexes' Need I change the name in order to bring about a geniune respect for the host on the panel?! Hmmm...
One thing I am well known and respected for on and off BlogTalkRadio.com is that when I am a guest on someone else's show or stage, I never try to downplay or outshine the host. I stand strong in my own opinion I am sharing without ever once having to ridicule or put down the host who invited me to share in discussing their hot topic!
Know when to compete, and first and foremost gain the knowledge of how to RESPECT other's platforms and you will indeed go a very long way in the circle of life!!!
Mz DeeVa, Blog Talk Radio Host and Co-Host of 'Late Night Blog Talking' at Obok in Killeen/FtHood, TX
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Did Tiger Woods and Elin need an Oscar?
Elin is moving back in and Tiger has reportedly decided on date to return to PGA Tour...wow, did we just hand out the Oscars to the wrong individuals America??...could it be it was a management strategy because it appears these days that drama sells movies, CDs, and now maybe even heightens the status of golfers!...smh
And let us not forget true nominations would have been appropriate for the many mistresses that popped up...were they paid to degrade themselves? I mean they do appear to be individuals who have no shame?
What do you all think? I say, it was a scam from the get for sake of attention, and we fell for it, so now America, we just made Tiger's money increase, as he showed America it is ok to cheat on your wife, with many women, because as Elin has made it look, the wife will come back?!
Share your thoughts, please...
And let us not forget true nominations would have been appropriate for the many mistresses that popped up...were they paid to degrade themselves? I mean they do appear to be individuals who have no shame?
What do you all think? I say, it was a scam from the get for sake of attention, and we fell for it, so now America, we just made Tiger's money increase, as he showed America it is ok to cheat on your wife, with many women, because as Elin has made it look, the wife will come back?!
Share your thoughts, please...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Thicker Women are Easier?!
Ok, the mobile discussion gets going this morning when I vent out a blog via text as to how frustrated I personally am of men, who are total strangers, approaching me, the friendly one at times in our group with sexual conversation or advances that they would never dare say to my friends, who were less approachable at the initial 'hi, how are you' phase. They usually look at the guy like he is complete dirt when he opens his mouth to attempt to say hi, and he fades away into the darkness, until he sees my friendly smile, and southern girl, raised by a REAL southern woman and grandmother mannerisms...and then he opens his mouth with the TOTAL disrespect approach!....
Following me?
Good.
So as I share this, some of my men friends suggested that maybe I should just ask the guy who does that, why did he approach me with inappropriate conversation and we have never met...
...I add here, yes people, I was fully covered, chin to shoe!...
...my reply to asking the jerk anything advice was simply, No, I try to follow advice my mother gives, saying that those type of men just want ANY conversation. I agree, so SAY NOTHING! Most of those types have nothing in between their ears and so your question would come to their ears, 'hey baby, fuck me'...when you simply said, 'why did you approach me like that?'...so no, conversation is not the answer.
Midday I shared maybe it would be best for me to immediately dial 911. When the cops arrive have the idiot arrested for sexual harassment. Hey, I am in Texas, that is a legal charge and the brother would go downtown. And then I was venting to my best friend (lady).... I should add to the 911 call, by calling the local news station as the guy is being arrested and share the story with the reporter for the 10 o'clock news...
...somehow, that made me feel a lot better, cannot wait to exercise that right on the next fool who approaches me wrong.
Now later my best friend (guy) shares with me that most men who come at me, versus my friends, are the members of the 90% Idiot club who's motto is 'THICKER WOMEN are EASIER'...sigh!!!!
I am now shocked that such a category exists, let alone there are fools younger than 195 years old that would even entertain that stupidity in this day and age, so I vent out outtraged that 'any man a part of that dumb percentage may our God place herpes and other STD's on their mediocre male parts!'..(umm you all know I did not use that latter term to describe 'IT'...
...somehow I felt better after that (will share that with my therapist ;)...)
...I later concluded the discussion by simply saying 'My diagnosis on the 'thicker girls are easier syndrome' is this: Male subjects who resort to placing women in categories in order to attempt to strengthen their approach in hopes of the woman paying them any attention, those particular male subjects suffer DEEP insecurity issues and lack of Self Esteem and need medication that has YET to be invented!...
...however, these are simply my thoughts and opinions, so what is your take on this subject??
~ms deeVa~
Following me?
Good.
So as I share this, some of my men friends suggested that maybe I should just ask the guy who does that, why did he approach me with inappropriate conversation and we have never met...
...I add here, yes people, I was fully covered, chin to shoe!...
...my reply to asking the jerk anything advice was simply, No, I try to follow advice my mother gives, saying that those type of men just want ANY conversation. I agree, so SAY NOTHING! Most of those types have nothing in between their ears and so your question would come to their ears, 'hey baby, fuck me'...when you simply said, 'why did you approach me like that?'...so no, conversation is not the answer.
Midday I shared maybe it would be best for me to immediately dial 911. When the cops arrive have the idiot arrested for sexual harassment. Hey, I am in Texas, that is a legal charge and the brother would go downtown. And then I was venting to my best friend (lady).... I should add to the 911 call, by calling the local news station as the guy is being arrested and share the story with the reporter for the 10 o'clock news...
...somehow, that made me feel a lot better, cannot wait to exercise that right on the next fool who approaches me wrong.
Now later my best friend (guy) shares with me that most men who come at me, versus my friends, are the members of the 90% Idiot club who's motto is 'THICKER WOMEN are EASIER'...sigh!!!!
I am now shocked that such a category exists, let alone there are fools younger than 195 years old that would even entertain that stupidity in this day and age, so I vent out outtraged that 'any man a part of that dumb percentage may our God place herpes and other STD's on their mediocre male parts!'..(umm you all know I did not use that latter term to describe 'IT'...
...somehow I felt better after that (will share that with my therapist ;)...)
...I later concluded the discussion by simply saying 'My diagnosis on the 'thicker girls are easier syndrome' is this: Male subjects who resort to placing women in categories in order to attempt to strengthen their approach in hopes of the woman paying them any attention, those particular male subjects suffer DEEP insecurity issues and lack of Self Esteem and need medication that has YET to be invented!...
...however, these are simply my thoughts and opinions, so what is your take on this subject??
~ms deeVa~
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Black women going Natural, is it all of sudden MANDATORY?
I have many thoughts, but I would say most of all, women make your choice and wear your style with confidence, no matter what it is: weave or natural. Main thing is keep it in order, keep it neat, that is key to any style a woman chooses...if you are one who has moved on past chemicals, that is a good thing, but a woman who wears weaves and has TOTAL self confidence is just as good! Whatever style you choose, wear it, and a woman who has not reached your decision level on it, may see something in your confidence, not necessarily your style, that will encourage her to try it too. What we do as women is all about example, REMEMBER, everyone has different levels of deliverance, so set the example you feel works best...and trust me when I say, GOD WILL DO THE REST!!!
Sisters just have to remember to encourage, encourage, encourage each other...who in the world do we think died and made us the 'you better wear your hair this way' God? Not saying that in a mean way, just really think about it, why must the ENTIRE world do it your way, because it works for you...well best way you can make that point is to flaunt it ladies and the 'proof will indeed be in your pudding'!
Support your sisters style if it looks good, weave, wig or natural...that positive move alone, support, goes a very long way!
mz deeVA
Sisters just have to remember to encourage, encourage, encourage each other...who in the world do we think died and made us the 'you better wear your hair this way' God? Not saying that in a mean way, just really think about it, why must the ENTIRE world do it your way, because it works for you...well best way you can make that point is to flaunt it ladies and the 'proof will indeed be in your pudding'!
Support your sisters style if it looks good, weave, wig or natural...that positive move alone, support, goes a very long way!
mz deeVA
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Did this bloggin guy just say women who love attention, have low self esteem??
And I quote:
ATTENTION, iz somth'n dat a "WOMAN" cravez... Once, the attention iz not factor'd n2 a "WOMAN'Z" life (low self-esteem)... They result 2 alot of different thingz... Ur a "WOMAN"... Do I need 2 elaborate any mor...END QUOTE
Hmmmmm????
So I chose to send him my thoughts, though I had many more, I will sit back and see what my readers will contribute...here is what I gave him...
My reply 2 his mania:
Hmmm, on the 'attention'...to me, women have laid down for hours of labor sometimes for the man they love and yet, he still manages to ignore her...women have cooked, cleaned and catered to the man she loves, and yet he goes to hang with his boys at the club/strip club rather than give her attention...women have stayed faithful to the man she loves for years and years and years, only to get why can't you do this like so and so wife or this like my sister or mother from the man she loves....
sometimes, ATTENTION, is just the ONE simple gift, the other guy has to offer, that a woman, who is not a cheater at heart, falls for so easily...especially when the ONE she loves, overlooked that simple need: ATTENTION.
Your bulletin was fun to read, decipher should I say...lol...but I had to comeback with my thoughts to your opinion...sigh, it is what a writer does best!!!
Have a great week!
wow, huh??
K readers, give me your thoughts on this one!!!
ms deeVa
ATTENTION, iz somth'n dat a "WOMAN" cravez... Once, the attention iz not factor'd n2 a "WOMAN'Z" life (low self-esteem)... They result 2 alot of different thingz... Ur a "WOMAN"... Do I need 2 elaborate any mor...END QUOTE
Hmmmmm????
So I chose to send him my thoughts, though I had many more, I will sit back and see what my readers will contribute...here is what I gave him...
My reply 2 his mania:
Hmmm, on the 'attention'...to me, women have laid down for hours of labor sometimes for the man they love and yet, he still manages to ignore her...women have cooked, cleaned and catered to the man she loves, and yet he goes to hang with his boys at the club/strip club rather than give her attention...women have stayed faithful to the man she loves for years and years and years, only to get why can't you do this like so and so wife or this like my sister or mother from the man she loves....
sometimes, ATTENTION, is just the ONE simple gift, the other guy has to offer, that a woman, who is not a cheater at heart, falls for so easily...especially when the ONE she loves, overlooked that simple need: ATTENTION.
Your bulletin was fun to read, decipher should I say...lol...but I had to comeback with my thoughts to your opinion...sigh, it is what a writer does best!!!
Have a great week!
wow, huh??
K readers, give me your thoughts on this one!!!
ms deeVa
He has 'commitment phobia', should she wait?
She utters the word commitment and he quickly changes the subject or better yet runs from the room....yes, yes, he probably has commitment phobia!!!
The question is, if he has it, should she stick around?!
Ladies, at the end of the day, it will be your individual choice. First and foremost, you have to ask yourself are you settling with this type for sake of love or are you staying the course for fear of being alone?
A woman in love is on one of those paths, no one can really control but her. Friends have to be supportive and family has to love on them even more if the one you see her in love with is an apparent bad choice. Because truth is, while she is blinded by love, she will not see it. It will take her own heart jolting experience with the guy to decide if she is going to stay or go.
And for the lady who is choosing to wait around for a guy with this phobia, for fear of being alone, my simple answer is...you are not quite ready to date...you have to step back and evaluate what causes you to fear being alone, and what are you really expecting the guy you fall for to give you if he commits? Spend some time alone, away from this guy you claim you love, and tap deeper into your fear of being alone.
It could be a great thing to leave him if he is stringing her along, because when she is alone, and not attached to his side...the guy that can love her and can commit without hesistation may be able to finally SEE her!!
Men, with commitment phobia while already in the relationship, please do ask yourself this question...do you have commitment phobia? Or are you having a lot of fun being carefree and not forcing yourself to make the decision to settle down with her?
Did that confuse any guy reading this? Here is more...men, if you have commitment phobia while in a relationship, you usually do not continue to meet other women at bars and online. You generally spend time with the girl in question or time with your friends outside of work. You know you love her, yet, you are fearful of a long term relationship with her.
The opposite of that: online flirting and chatting, hanging out at bars with single friends or married cheating friends and filling up your phone with potential new dates...that my dear, is not commitment phobia, you are simply...
...a player!!
And that would be another blog!
Share your thoughts readers!
ms deeVA
The question is, if he has it, should she stick around?!
Ladies, at the end of the day, it will be your individual choice. First and foremost, you have to ask yourself are you settling with this type for sake of love or are you staying the course for fear of being alone?
A woman in love is on one of those paths, no one can really control but her. Friends have to be supportive and family has to love on them even more if the one you see her in love with is an apparent bad choice. Because truth is, while she is blinded by love, she will not see it. It will take her own heart jolting experience with the guy to decide if she is going to stay or go.
And for the lady who is choosing to wait around for a guy with this phobia, for fear of being alone, my simple answer is...you are not quite ready to date...you have to step back and evaluate what causes you to fear being alone, and what are you really expecting the guy you fall for to give you if he commits? Spend some time alone, away from this guy you claim you love, and tap deeper into your fear of being alone.
It could be a great thing to leave him if he is stringing her along, because when she is alone, and not attached to his side...the guy that can love her and can commit without hesistation may be able to finally SEE her!!
Men, with commitment phobia while already in the relationship, please do ask yourself this question...do you have commitment phobia? Or are you having a lot of fun being carefree and not forcing yourself to make the decision to settle down with her?
Did that confuse any guy reading this? Here is more...men, if you have commitment phobia while in a relationship, you usually do not continue to meet other women at bars and online. You generally spend time with the girl in question or time with your friends outside of work. You know you love her, yet, you are fearful of a long term relationship with her.
The opposite of that: online flirting and chatting, hanging out at bars with single friends or married cheating friends and filling up your phone with potential new dates...that my dear, is not commitment phobia, you are simply...
...a player!!
And that would be another blog!
Share your thoughts readers!
ms deeVA
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