She Think She's All That Syndrome

I recently had a conversation with a friend girl about how she views

my interactions with different women that come in and out of my life.

She mentioned that she cannot comprehend fully how I do it; how do I

deal with so many diverse types of women, and how do I deal with the

types who are obviously coming around with a competitive attitude?

Like I shared with my friend girl, my way is unique, yet not

unattainable!

I simply accept how people are when they arrive at my front door. I

do not ever get on a mission to change them. I will often encourage

them towards paths that may show them life in a different light, yet

you will never hear me telling any of my friends that they should do it

this way or that way!

And I simply do not feed into the negativity that comes with

comparisons or competitive personality types!

Ladies, when you walk into another woman's life, befriend her

sincerely and you may actually clearly see the reason God allowed you

both to cross paths. When I become a friend, I am just that. No hidden

agendas; I am here and aware that God allowed you in for a reason.

My advice to you all who are struggling with it is this: Pray about it.

Ask God to help you not to act like that; ask God to help you not to be

so judgemental and bossy; stop telling women how to be in order to

fit your lifestyle and just allow them to grow into who they are to

become!

And of most importantly, do away with your competive ways of past

female friendships and just fully embrace the women you meet on this

journey we call life.

The only female, a woman should compare herself to is her own self!

Compare yourself to the little naive girl that you were years ago, to the

woman that you have become today!

Who cares if your friend girl has a seemingly better house, car or relationship? Who

cares if her body is more fit or if the strands of her hair are a little

longer?

Stop the competitions and Do you!

And allow God to show you the person you have been competing

with..
Ask Him to share with you why he allowed the both of you to cross

each other's paths. Look for the positives and stop creating the

negatives.

Again my personality and ability to embrace all types of women is

not something that is impossible to emulate...take down your

competitive guards and just give it a try and watch how you begin to

relax in the peace of mind this way of living brings about!

~Mz DeeVa~

P.S. Never Judge a Book By Its Cover ;-) Hope to meet you soon!!

In Europe and Tired of a Married Man's Advances

Mz DeeVa:
"...my friend's husband wont leave me alone, He keeps sending me messages. He has been trying to get with me for years I managed to keep him off but recently he got a hold of my number and he wont let off with the messages...."

Dear Frustrated in Europe:
Hey lady! That is going on like crazy here in Central Texas also!
Men like that have to be ignored at all levels! Dont even tell them to stop texting because their shallow minds hear 'she wants me bad!'
....most important; tell the friend!...
I sat on a 3 way call, where my friend told our other girlfriend of what her husband was doing a year ago; and she checked him...of course, some dogs keep it in him, so he is now back hitting same female up by email, along with some other friend girls he found on her Facebook friend's list!

Ignore men like that on all levels, it is truly the only thing that MAY work!

Mz DeeVa:
"if I tell her she will think its me leading him on. I am so fed up with this nonsense. I have married idiots at work chasing me, 3 of them, no matter how much I tell them to lay off, they wont."

Dear Frustrated in Europe:
I know your frustration and believe me, it is not you, those men have greediness issues, cannot just be happy with who God gave them; so they want to come have some 'jump off' fun for a few months and Sundays until their guilt sets in with the first lady victim who will fall for their crap!

Right thing to do: Tell the wife, she will be angry now, but I promise you, I have had thank you calls years later, from 2 exact same situations! Wives will call and say 'thank you' when they finally grow tired of the games. In your current situation, your friend, the wife, already knows or suspects that he is up to something, that is the way of woman!!
So tell her; and show her email and text proof if she asks for it....and then walk in to 2011 with that being THEIR mess and not yours ma.

Hoping this post helps many women in the same predicament. Feel free always to email your questions to me direct at: mividanow@gmail.com or DM to me on Twitter, as well as Facebook or Myspace them!

~Mz DeeVa~

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mzdeeva4you
http://deevaizms.blogspot.com
http://www.twitter.com/MzDeeVa4you
http://www.myspace.com/brownsugah09

The Right Brain vs the Left Brain in Relationships according to Mz DeeVa

Often times we enter into relationships and we fail to take enough time to get to know who we are, let alone figure out who the other person we are getting to know is!

My theory is that knowing whether or not you are Right Brain, Left Brain or
some combination of both is a critical link to minimizing the CONFUSION that
tends to go on in the COMMUNICATION process of dating and relationships
with others!

Now know this, it is not too late to test my theory if you are already years into
the relationship or even married. The discovery point of learning that how you
think and how your mate thinks is a great one!! It really makes a HUGE difference in the success or lack of success of your relationship AND could put an end to never ending arguments and bring the romance back that has long since faded away!!

So here we go...

First, here are the characteristics of the Left Brainers and the Right Brainers.


Left brain tend to be more logical, carrying these traits:

-Logical

-Sequential

-Rational

-Analytical

-Objective

-Looks at parts

Right Brain tend to be more Intuitive, carrying these traits:

-Random

-Intuitive

-Holistic
Synthesizing

-Subjective

-Looks at wholes

Now, discover if you are more of a Right Brain or a Left Brain person by going
online and taking this quick and HARMLESS quiz:

http://www.intelliscript.net/test_area/questionnaire/questionnaire.cgi

and then return back to me for my theory....

At the end of the quiz, you were given a scale that showed you whether or not
you were a Left Brainer, Right Brainer or both.

Now....here is the solution beginning to unfold...Have your partner take the
same test. AND....if he/she refuses to, and you have known them long enough,
and know quite a bit about their personality and ways, try taking the test as if
you are them (less likely to be successful in solving your issues if you cannot get
them to take the test, yet, it will help you understand them more, which is your
goal in the first place! -_-

One tip I will share about the Left Brainer. As you see psychologists have
discovered, Left Brainers think in parts....YET, they are so logical and so very
analytical and objective, they will argue me down on this point to a T...The fact
that Left Brainers think in parts, they tend not to see the WHOLE picture of
what is actually going on!! They will make a conclusion on the situation based
on the very few parts they see of it, and will not fairly GRASP the whole
situation!!

Wondering how that has any impact on your relationship?

Because the Left Brainer lacks a lot of emotion and tends to choose the rational
way of thinking in most arguments or disagreements, they are not going to
FEEL as much as the Right Brainer will, nor will they see the WHOLE situation
right up front. It is not to say that you will not get your point across, because if
you can TRULY understand this about the Left Brainer you will learn how to do
so; it is just simply saying as the initial disagreement takes place, the Left
Brainer is going to stand his/her ground because deep down inside, they
honestly feel they are right! It will take the Right Brainer's patience and
willingness to love them enough or care enough to see the Left Brainer through
ALL parts of the discussion in order to get their point across!

Now, I am still currently studying for my Bachelor's in Guidance Counseling, but
that is the information I have studied throughout my Associates in Social Work
Specialization studies and I find it to be ironic that the study of Left Brainers
vs Right Brainers has a SERIOUS impact on how 2 people can successfully
understand each other more in the dating and marriage process, yet I stand
strong on my conclusion that it will make a HUGE difference on the
COMMUNICATION side of things knowing which side of the brain dominates, for you and your partner!

~Mz DeeVa, Blog Talk Radio Host~

'Tis the Season To Do Away With Unnecessary Competitions!

I find this season bringing me extreme peace and self satisfaction! Yet, I look around me and soon learn that those swimming with me in this sea of happiness are few and far between!
See, I am a web Talk Radio Host (www.blogtalkradio.com/mzdeeva4you) and my main subject on near all of my segments is the word many fear to talk about in excess: Relationships!

So as I stream my podcast live each week, I get quite a few callers who will call in and share their thoughts and opinions on the current Relationship topics presented. What seems to happen often, with the men and the women, is an air of competition!!! Mz Deeva may be bringing the topic but I am going to call into her show to show her fans how wrong she is on her outlook on these issues
The ones who tend to go against me the most, are the ones I expose often. The 'Relationship Game Players', the 'Satisfied Female Jump Offs', the ones who are indeed guilty of the topic I am sharing and so they fear that truth being exposed, thus following, the competition Live on air!!!

Can we not just all get along in the world of talk radio?!

Though mine is called the Battle of the Sexes, I have shared with you often, we consider it simply 'a friendly engagement between the sexes' Need I change the name in order to bring about a geniune respect for the host on the panel?! Hmmm...

One thing I am well known and respected for on and off BlogTalkRadio.com is that when I am a guest on someone else's show or stage, I never try to downplay or outshine the host. I stand strong in my own opinion I am sharing without ever once having to ridicule or put down the host who invited me to share in discussing their hot topic!
Know when to compete, and first and foremost gain the knowledge of how to RESPECT other's platforms and you will indeed go a very long way in the circle of life!!!

Mz DeeVa, Blog Talk Radio Host and Co-Host of 'Late Night Blog Talking' at Obok in Killeen/FtHood, TX

Thicker Women are Easier?!

Ok, the mobile discussion gets going this morning when I vent out a blog via text as to how frustrated I personally am of men, who are total strangers, approaching me, the friendly one at times in our group with sexual conversation or advances that they would never dare say to my friends, who were less approachable at the initial 'hi, how are you' phase. They usually look at the guy like he is complete dirt when he opens his mouth to attempt to say hi, and he fades away into the darkness, until he sees my friendly smile, and southern girl, raised by a REAL southern woman and grandmother mannerisms...and then he opens his mouth with the TOTAL disrespect approach!....

Following me?

Good.

So as I share this, some of my men friends suggested that maybe I should just ask the guy who does that, why did he approach me with inappropriate conversation and we have never met...

...I add here, yes people, I was fully covered, chin to shoe!...

...my reply to asking the jerk anything advice was simply, No, I try to follow advice my mother gives, saying that those type of men just want ANY conversation. I agree, so SAY NOTHING! Most of those types have nothing in between their ears and so your question would come to their ears, 'hey baby, fuck me'...when you simply said, 'why did you approach me like that?'...so no, conversation is not the answer.

Midday I shared maybe it would be best for me to immediately dial 911. When the cops arrive have the idiot arrested for sexual harassment. Hey, I am in Texas, that is a legal charge and the brother would go downtown. And then I was venting to my best friend (lady).... I should add to the 911 call, by calling the local news station as the guy is being arrested and share the story with the reporter for the 10 o'clock news...

...somehow, that made me feel a lot better, cannot wait to exercise that right on the next fool who approaches me wrong.

Now later my best friend (guy) shares with me that most men who come at me, versus my friends, are the members of the 90% Idiot club who's motto is 'THICKER WOMEN are EASIER'...sigh!!!!

I am now shocked that such a category exists, let alone there are fools younger than 195 years old that would even entertain that stupidity in this day and age, so I vent out outtraged that 'any man a part of that dumb percentage may our God place herpes and other STD's on their mediocre male parts!'..(umm you all know I did not use that latter term to describe 'IT'...

...somehow I felt better after that (will share that with my therapist ;)...)

...I later concluded the discussion by simply saying 'My diagnosis on the 'thicker girls are easier syndrome' is this: Male subjects who resort to placing women in categories in order to attempt to strengthen their approach in hopes of the woman paying them any attention, those particular male subjects suffer DEEP insecurity issues and lack of Self Esteem and need medication that has YET to be invented!...

...however, these are simply my thoughts and opinions, so what is your take on this subject??

~ms deeVa~