Celibate Season: Every Single Woman Engaging in Sex Should Take a Break from Meaningless SEX!

On subject of celibacy (Battle of the Sexes, iLast Radio, 7/17): "Every (single) woman should have a season for 'taking time off from sex' (celibate season)....if you are DOING IT all YEAR and you don't even have a damn ring (wedding/engagement)...YOU'RE CRAZEE!!" ~Mz DeeVa~ :-) DeeVaIzm Quote of the weekend!!

Isn't that just the TRUTH??

A single woman engaging in sex without commitment, all year round, with the same partner or lord knows with multiple partners, should take a breather from sex at some point in time!

I like to call it the

"Season of Celibacy".

Taking time to reflect on why you and this other person are having sex on a long term basis, yet have not decided to take it to another level...a step towards a real commitment.

As much as some men...and some women... will argue me down that sex year in and year out without a commitment is NOT meaningless, truth be told ladies and gents, it is just that:

MEANINGLESS SEX

. GREAT for while it lasts, yet in the end, he chooses someone else or you choose someone else and now you have both ABUSED a part of

GOD's GREATEST GIFT to mankind: SEX!

"Meaningless sex, which is ALSO Great SEX at the same time but turns around into a full circle and bringing you back to the moment when you didn't know him...has NO PURPOSE!" (Mz DeeVa on iLast Radio Battle of the Sexes 7/17)

Intimacy is NOT a recreational sport and society needs to STOP treating it like it is! Intimacy = IN TO ME YOU SEE! Intimacy says, 'here in this world of caressing, kissing and loving, I am opening up a door that goes deep and near to my soul'...how can you KEEP giving that 'special' someone a GIFT as expensive as that sounds without setting some standards towards your own self worth.

AND...guess what, if you decide to have a

Season of Celibacy

, you do not have to BREAK up if you are in a great relationship that is simply facing 'fear to commit' from one of you...keep seeing the person, you will just have to get CREATIVE if you have been engaging in SEX already, and prepare for the struggle to do WITHOUT as he/she respects your decision to hold off.

I say you do not have to break up to take a

Season of Celibacy

, because it is not a mandatory action in order to get your OWN mind clear as to why you are engaging in a act reserved for TRUE LOVE and ROMANCE. The only reason a break up may come is if the other person has a SERIOUS problem with the fact that you want to hold off from having sex for a while...if he/she loves you, he will NOT single ladies, she will NOT single men, have a problem with respecting your decison!

Start with doing the research on the word Celibacy alone, and then, activate your own inner common sense...decide if taking a break from

MEANINGLESS sex

is for you...do not forget to TELL your partner if you make this decision while in a relationship!

COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE...

And then just do it!!

Take a season to take a look deep inside of you and when and if you return back to having sex, be sure you now KNOW what is FOR YOU!!

~Mz DeeVa~

Author of newly released memoir 'Great Sex Is Not Love and Never Will Be' now available on Amazon.com for Kindle and also on Paperback...also available on Nook (www.barnesandnobles.com)
Visit the Facebook fan page for weekly discounts on autographed pre-purchase copies http://www.facebook.com/mzdeeva4you
And do not MISS the tour 'Never Judge a Book By Its Cover' which features Mz DeeVa's

'Sex is Not Love'

(Dallas, Tx 8/19...Richmond, Va 8/20...Manhattan, NY 10/15...Atlanta, Ga and London, England TBA.
BOOKING has OPEN dates, email: mividadnow@gmail.com

Follow me on Twitter: @MzDeeVa4you

Follow me on Twitter: @MzDeeVa4you

The Cheater

When he is declaring his innocence loudly, he usually has a chic on the side.

When you ask him 'did you bang so and so' and he replies 'I would never bang that fat or ugly or broke b**ch' he has been banging her for over 2 months or more.

Ladies, when you accuse a man, and he is innocent, his response is quiet in nature, peaceful, no argument. When he yells back...simply guilty. 

Never waste time on accusing or asking. Trust that what is done in the dark, will always come to the light.

Put 200% behind the relationship, so if he cheats, you walk away knowing you owe him nothing less than that classy exit! 

The word Problem, is the Problem!

The word problem is the problem!!!

Often in relationships two people will disagree, some couples more than others.

The right communication is key towards building a healthy realationship or restoring a broken one.

How you approach your mate during an argument usually will determine just how long the disagreement will go on.

A mistake many make, the problem, lies right in that ONE word, problem!

Along with a nasty tone, saying 'what's your problem?!' is going to cause your mate to get on the instant defense! There actually is a more respectable approach that will get your answer as well as cause a positive response vs a negative one.

The next time your woman or man seems to be having an issue that they are not communicating to you, wait for the right timing, maybe even suggesting a walk around a park or school track, a place where oxygen can flow to the brain and keep the stress level low! And then try saying this:

"I see that something is bothering you and I am concerned baby, so, what's up? what's going on with you today?"

And yes, verbatim would be best if this approach is NEW to you!!

All in all, feel the cool from the winter air versus the tension and ice cold look from your partner by avoiding those dreadfully negative words, 'what's's your problem?!'

DeAnna 'Mz DeeVa' Shields 

Virtual Dating

Virtual Dating tips from Mz Deeva

-1st Have several, several intense conversations via Email or IM before sharing your number.
Ask detailed questions and leave room in your heart before you fall for him/her to discover the truth when/if you actually meet and spend weeks REALLY getting to know him/her.

-Exchange numbers once you are clear that they meet your initial 'narrow your choices down' standards
 
If local
choose a coffee shop for first meeting.  Do not use each other's apartments or houses to meet up. Too soon for that!

If out of state
*Dont date out of reasonable travel zones unless you discovered by intense conversation and date 1 and 2 you can both afford to do so!
Date 1: He comes to your state, gets a hotel n rents a car
Date 2: You go to his state, get a hotel room, n rent a car 
Oh, and plz do not stay over at the hotel or his/her place on Date 1 and 2! ;-)

On safety: 
Always let your close friend or family member know of any plans to meet your new virtual friend alone. I have a friend girl I can text when I go on dates even if we haven't talked in months! 
Be accounted for when meeting a guy/girl online...not all folks are in their right mind!

On the subject of sex:
-If you met him/her online, spend at least 6 months before allowing any making out. Weak people will tell you it's impossible. Please hear this strong woman when I say, keep the dates creative and full of adventure and this time will pass by before you know it!

Moving in with him/her:
-Let me talk straight to my independent yet lonely ladies on this one, ok? Men take notes  and apply accordingly.
Ladies, please do not allow some guy from out of state or even locally to get in your head about coming to spend a week, month or two with you in order to get to know you better! 
That is the most popular line 'virtual liars' use!
A real man will have his living situation in order and can date you from afar.
 
You get me on that?
 
He has no reason at all to move in YOUR place or even move you in HIS place, just to get to know you better! 
The game is played so they can either, leave the woman they met a couple months back online, who is about to boot them out because they found out his game...or....he just split with his ex and is trying to move you in to help with that now one sided financial burden.

More is in my book coming this summer  I had to share since it is hot topic this evening!
Ladies and Gents, OnLine date wisely! And know a 'Virtual Liar' when you see him 'Typing' up!!!

~Mz DeeVa~
Web Talk Radio Hostess of iLast Radio segments like 'Relationship Talk', 'Let's Talk', and 'Battle of the Sexes', and new Authoress of memoir 'Great Sex Is Not Love and Never Will Be!' and upcoming Relationship Book: 'So Your Heart's Been Broken? Please Get Back Out There!'
Follow Mz DeeVa on Twitter: @MzDeeva4you for more or like her fan page 'Mz DeeVa' on www.facebook.com/mzdeeva4you as well as join her book club on Facebook 'Great Sex Is Not Love Book Club'

In Europe and Tired of a Married Man's Advances

Mz DeeVa:
"...my friend's husband wont leave me alone, He keeps sending me messages. He has been trying to get with me for years I managed to keep him off but recently he got a hold of my number and he wont let off with the messages...."

Dear Frustrated in Europe:
Hey lady! That is going on like crazy here in Central Texas also!
Men like that have to be ignored at all levels! Dont even tell them to stop texting because their shallow minds hear 'she wants me bad!'
....most important; tell the friend!...
I sat on a 3 way call, where my friend told our other girlfriend of what her husband was doing a year ago; and she checked him...of course, some dogs keep it in him, so he is now back hitting same female up by email, along with some other friend girls he found on her Facebook friend's list!

Ignore men like that on all levels, it is truly the only thing that MAY work!

Mz DeeVa:
"if I tell her she will think its me leading him on. I am so fed up with this nonsense. I have married idiots at work chasing me, 3 of them, no matter how much I tell them to lay off, they wont."

Dear Frustrated in Europe:
I know your frustration and believe me, it is not you, those men have greediness issues, cannot just be happy with who God gave them; so they want to come have some 'jump off' fun for a few months and Sundays until their guilt sets in with the first lady victim who will fall for their crap!

Right thing to do: Tell the wife, she will be angry now, but I promise you, I have had thank you calls years later, from 2 exact same situations! Wives will call and say 'thank you' when they finally grow tired of the games. In your current situation, your friend, the wife, already knows or suspects that he is up to something, that is the way of woman!!
So tell her; and show her email and text proof if she asks for it....and then walk in to 2011 with that being THEIR mess and not yours ma.

Hoping this post helps many women in the same predicament. Feel free always to email your questions to me direct at: mividanow@gmail.com or DM to me on Twitter, as well as Facebook or Myspace them!

~Mz DeeVa~

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